All coarseness of language or carriage in them, I will discountenance. I will be solicitous to have my children expert, not only at reading handsomely, but also at writing a fair hand. I will then assign them such books to read as I may judge most agreeable and profitable; obliging them to give me some account of what they read; but keep a strict eye upon them, that they don't stumble on the Devil's library, and poison themselves with foolish romances, or novels, or plays, or songs, or jests that are not convenient.
I will set them also, to write out such things as may be of the greatest benefit unto them; and they shall have their blank books journal , neatly kept on purpose, to enter such passages as I advise them to. I will particularly require them now and then to write a prayer of their own composing, and bring it unto me; that so I may discern what sense they have of their own everlasting interests.
I wish that my children may as soon as may be, feel the principles of reason and honor working in them-and that I may carry on their education, very much upon those principles. Therefore, first, I will wholly avoid that harsh, fierce, crabbed usage of the children that would make them tremble and abhor to come into my presence. I will treat them so that they shall fear to offend me, and yet mightily love to see me, and be glad of my coming home if I have been abroad at any time.
I will have it looked upon as a severe and awful punishment to be forbidden for awhile to come into my presence. I will raise in them an high opinion of their father's love to them, and of his being better able to judge what is good for them than they are for themselves. I will bring them to believe 'tis best for them to be and do as I will have them.
Hereupon I will continually magnify the matter to them, what a brave thing 'tis to know the things that are excellent; and more brave to do the things that are virtuous.
I will have them to propose it as a reward of their well-doing at any time, I will now go to my father, and he will teach me something that I was never taught before. I will have them afraid of doing any base thing, from an horror of the baseness in it. My first response to finding a lesser fault in them shall be a surprise, a wonder, vehemently expressed before them, that ever they should be guilty of doing so foolishly; a vehement belief that they will never do the like again; a weeping resolution in them, that they will not.
I will never dispense a blow, except it be for an atrocious crime or for a lesser fault obstinately persisted in; either for an enormity, or for an obstinacy. I will always proportion the chastisements to the miscarriages; neither smiting bitterly for a very small piece of childishness nor frowning only a little for some real wickedness.
Nor shall my chastisement ever be dispensed in a passion and a fury; but I will first show them the command of God, by transgressing whereof they have displeased me. The slavish, raving, fighting way of discipline is too commonly used. I look upon it as a considerable article in the wrath and curse of God upon a miserable world. As soon as we can, we'll get up to yet higher principles.
I will often tell the children what cause they have to love a glorious Christ, who has died for them. And how much He will be well-pleased with their well-doing. And what a noble thing 'tis to follow His example; which example I will describe unto them. I will often tell them that the eye of God is upon them; the great God knows all they do and hears all they speak.
I will often tell them that there will be a time when they must appear before the Judgment-Seat of the holy Lord; and they must now do nothing that may then be a grief and shame unto them. I will set before them the delights of that Heaven that is prepared for pious children; and the torments of that Hell that is prepared of old for naughty ones. I will inform them of the good things the good angels do for little ones that have the fear of God and are afraid of sin.
And how the devils tempt them to do ill things; how they hearken to the devils, and are like them, when they do such things; and what mischiefs the devils may get leave to do them in this world, and what a sad thing 'twill be, to be among the devils in the Place of Dragons. I will cry to God, that He will make them feel the power of these principles. When the children are of a fit age for it, I will sometimes closet them; have them with me alone; talk with them about the state of their souls; their experiences, their proficiencies, their temptations; obtain their declared consent unto every jot and tittle of the gospel; and then pray with them, and weep unto the Lord for His grace, to be bestowed upon them, and make them witnesses of the agony with which I am travailing to see the image of Christ formed in them.
Certainly, they'll never forget such actions! I will be very watchful and cautious about the companions of my children. I will be very inquisitive what company they keep; if they are in hazard of being ensnared by any vicious company, I will earnestly pull them out of it, as brands out of the burning.
I will find out, and procure, laudable companions for them. As in catechizing the children, so in the repetition of the public sermons, I will use this method. I will put every truth into a question to be answered with Yes or No.
By this method I hope to awaken their attention as well as enlighten their understanding. Two-deep leadership. If at all possible, children should always be in the care of at least two workers. Even if a worker or volunteer has to remove a child from the group for a legitimate reason, the child and the worker should always be in the eyesight of at least one additional worker or volunteer. When developing two-deep leadership teams, it may be wise to avoid placing close family members or friends as teams. This is because a spouse or other close family member is more likely to protect a loved one who violates church rules or engages in concerning behavior with a youth.
Sex offenders like to see children undressing or otherwise seek an opportunity to initiate conversation about sexual topics.
Accordingly, workers and volunteers should avoid watching children undress in locker rooms, showers, or bathrooms. Separate sleeping accommodations. At boarding schools, camps, or other overnight settings, there should be separate sleeping accommodations for children and the adults. If there is a reason for an adult to enter the sleeping accommodations of children at night i. When requiring separate sleeping accommodations, make it clear this means truly separate.
In one case, an offender arranged an overnight with youth during which he had an adjoining room door he could easily open and otherwise gain access to the children he molested. In one case, a youth minister had the children he was working with over to his house for a party in which all the children joined him in a hot tub where he instructed some of the children how to masturbate with the jets.
Again, sex offenders seek private access to children and allowing a worker to be alone with children at his or her house increases the risk. In the same vein, there should be regulations on workers visiting the homes of children.
In more than one case, church or other workers have visited children at their homes and have molested them there. Appropriate attire. Adult workers and volunteers should wear appropriate clothing at all times. Activities such as skinny dipping should always be prohibited. Again, offenders look for opportunities to initiate inappropriate sexual conversations with their potential victims.
Accordingly, sexually suggestive or otherwise inappropriate apparel or behaviors should be prohibited. Sexual jokes, comments, or behaviors around children should be strictly prohibited. Open windows and open doors. There may be times when a teacher or other adult will need to be alone with a child, such as a teacher giving a child a music lesson. In such a scenario, it is important to have an open-door policy where fellow teachers or others can enter unexpectedly and to have windows on doors so others can see what is happening in a particular room.
Again, sex offenders look for opportunities to abuse children and it is the responsibility of a youth-serving organization to limit these opportunities. Prohibiting corporal punishment.
As adults, we would feel uncomfortable publicly disclosing even positive sexual experiences with our marriage partners. In summary, the First Presidency has come out for an amendment which may or may not be adopted in support of the teaching function of the law. Nature of God. Or they are red-headed, or they are the best basketball player that ever played for such-and-such a high school. In one school, the after-school worker discovered a 7 year old girl performing cunnilingus on a 5 year old girl. At boarding schools, camps, or other overnight settings, there should be separate sleeping accommodations for children and the adults.
Corporal punishment of children is prohibited in most schools, day cares, and other settings. A child telling when someone hurts them is then discounted and told to ignore that feeling if the behavior is allowed.
There are number of books and materials that parents can use in speaking with their children. Some parents worry that personal safety is frightening or involves sex education. This is not the case. You are simply telling children that the parts of their body covered by bathing suits are not supposed to be touched by others and, when they are, they should tell someone. Children should be encouraged to tell the person taking care of them if anyone is acting in a way that makes them feel confused or scared. The greater risk to children is people that they already know, but that relationship often makes it harder to tell.
Some professionals are opposed to personal safety classes because they believe the classes put the burden on the child to protect themselves. If this logic is carried to the extreme, we would stop teaching children not to play with matches. We want a child to know what to do if they see a matchbook without assuming they would know what steps to take to fireproof a home.
Children who have been sexually abused have often been led by their perpetrators to believe there is nothing they can do to stop the abuse.